The dog days of training

Marathon training over the last couple of weeks has been interesting to say the least. A cold and a nagging cough wiped out almost 3 weeks of my training. When I recently tried to restart my training, things definitely felt out of whack. Feelings of sluggishness, slower pace times, and an overall decreased level of fitness greeted me in my first couple of runs. That's to be expected, right? Well, that wasn't the most alarming development.

What's worse is I started having thoughts of self-doubt and fear creep into my psyche. Now, don't get me wrong. It's not like I never had to deal with thoughts of cutting a run short or flat out quitting because I didn't feel like running, but this was different. This time it seemed that these thoughts came on earlier and were relentless. Instead of visualizing myself overcoming my obstacles and continuing on, I was picturing myself giving up and just saying to heck with all of this. I got a glimpse of this in the Badger Cove half marathon that I detailed in my last post, but I thought it was the result of me being ill. Apparently, that was just the beginning.

I set out to run 18 miles with a friend after I recovered from my illness. This was not a smart idea from the get go, but I wanted to get the mileage in anyway. Well, between my lack of fitness, unforeseen GI issues, and my mind telling me to give up, I ended up walking the last 2 miles and called my wife for a ride home. That was humbling to say the least.

Fast forward to April 7th when I ran the Hollywood (CA) Half marathon. I placed a lot of importance on this race (prior to me getting sick) as an indicator to see how my marathon training was progressing as well as hoping to break my PR. This "mostly flat" race turned out to be "not really flat" and that was unexpected. What was most troubling though was the fact that I again wanted to throw in the towel, this time in the last 5k, and just walk the rest of the way. No amount of mental encouragement on my part seemed to get me out of that funk. My legs weren't cooperating either. I don't know if it was my nutrition during the race or if my fitness level still wasn't up to par, but I was not feeling it and that just fed my negative thinking. If it wasn't for the pace group leader behind me yelling out all sorts of motivational encouragement, I would have finished a lot worse off. As it was, I finished with a time 5 minutes slower than I wanted.

As I write this, it seems pretty ridiculous that I'm complaining about a finishing time that's off by a couple of minutes. I think the reason I'm so disappointed is that ideally, I was supposed to be in my best shape and a PR in this half would have validated that. Also, I set some ambitious goals for myself in the marathon. This race result is now making me question these goals of mine. Heck, if I barely made it through a half marathon at a pace slower than I wanted, how on earth am I going to make it through the full thing at my goal pace?

Injury has also crept in the picture. On my last long run, I noticed pain on the side of my right knee. With the help of friends and the internet, it looks like I have IT band syndrome. Hopefully, I'll be able to manage it with a combination of stretching, reexamining my stride, foam rollers, and a brace I'm trying out.  This is obviously not a welcome development.

Looks like I have a handful of things to really focus on in these last couple of weeks leading up to the marathon. Reevaluating my goals and expectations, mental toughness training, and recapturing my fitness will definitely be keeping me busy.

Big Sur is coming quick!!